news for 7.25.07

*funny or offensive? i’m not gunna lie, i think it’s great. but i do have a sick sense of humor…

*a sex gel to inactivate HIV and herpes? well if thats not another reason to lube up, i dunno what is? (thankx cath! 😉

*teen sex rate stays the same (breaking pervious declining pattern). why surely all that right-wing endorsed abstinence-only education wouldn’t be at the helm? haha 🙂 (sorry cath haha)

*diet soda linked to heart risks. now we just need to know if the addition of rum counteracts that… (sorry em haha)

* no more fighting over the remote! introducing a his and hers remote where each can preprogram 100 channels! I want one for my roomie and i! only i guess ours should say hers 1 and hers 2.

*in more lube news, you can now smell like a bakery, down there. Intimate Options Personal Lubricant Mousse, now available in drugstores nationwide, is a mousse that comes in vanilla and vanilla cinnamon (as well as unscented) perfect for the over eater 😉 eww that was crude…i love it! haha

* obesity, like chlamydia, is now believed to spread like a disease. yup. basically if your friend’s fat, chances are you will be too. lovely.

* more reassurance in the intellect of the american people – 4 out of 5 plastic surgery recipients say they were influenced by reality tv.

* i used to be fairly environmentally conscious. then i read THIS. “farmers in Mexico are now ditching the blue agave plant used to make the liquor to cash in on corn and the demand for alternative fuel — and some say that could lead to the great tequila shortage.”

*but for the news that really most affects me – starbucks is raising prices! boo! b/c choosing between a two-cheeseburger meal at mcdonald’s and a coffee wasn’t a hard enough decision already! blah!

*perhaps possible Republican Presidential candidate Fred Thompson inspired the infamous Clinton-cigar experiment…

your week in sex…

sex horoscope for July 23 – 29

The Virginity Mystique

GREAT ARTICLE: The Virginity Mystique in The Nation
my fav highlights:

“Most retro about the call for modesty is that it once again implies that women’s actions are somehow responsible for men’s. Since men simply cannot control themselves, poor things, women should shroud their bodies in cloth and desperately guard their virginity so as to quash men’s dishonorable intentions.”

“You have to be living under a rock not to notice that casual sex, once an expression of a subversive impulse, is now certifiably pop culture.”

“What the hookup culture does reveal is an unconscious impulse to somehow redefine sex for our current cultural climate.”

“Regardless of the (sometimes harmful) results of one-night stands or sex before high school, these women are looking to experiment, to find a contrast to immediate, eternal companionship”

“The culture has not yet carved out a space for women to indulge their own fantasies rather than to fulfill those of men.Feminism has not finished its job; a version of nonmushy, nonmarital sex that makes women feel good about themselves is still hard to achieve.”

“It takes maturity and self-awareness, but many women take sexual mistakes in stride while still feeling ultimately satisfied with their sex (and, yes, love) lives. Forced expectations, whether the pressure to be sexual or the pressure to be chaste, always hurts. ”

“Sex is the ultimate risk, a risk that makes human relationships complicated, intoxicating and wonderful. It is a risk that women are finally allowed to take without being chastised for it. “

the hand-job protest song

i think this video confirms what i have always believed: why do something if that person can do it better for themselves??? plus, who wants to risk breaking a nail, right?

news for 7.22.07

*what if stars like jennifer aniston (above), pam anderson and john travolta were normal people? ya, they’d look pretty bad fat and balding…

* u’d think by now people would get that the internet really is just for porn. so is it at all surprising that Nigerian schoolchildren who received laptops from U.S. aid organizations are using them to surf nudie sites?

* drinking and dating guide. seriously. filed with tidbits like: tequila is good for redheads, jagermeister for gals still living in places where it’s acceptable to wear greek letters, scotch for trannies and long island’s for those who have appeared on episodes of Blind Date

* nation’s first holistic, hospital-based sexual medicine center opens in san diego

*quiz – could you be president?

* i love hbo. the most sexually explicit scripted drama ever comes to the network this fall! think real sex meets fiction!

* i love new zealand. heroism rewarded with beer. brazilant!

*dumbasses – group wants guns allowed on santa fe and uf campuses. r u kidding me?!?!?

sex first; relationship later?

It’s been said that there’s a pattern to everything. And when it comes to relationships our society has laid the foundations for it quite clearly – you meet, you woo, you copulate, you fall in love.

But can the pattern work in a different order? In these times of casual sex can you ever segue your bedmate into your real mate? If you start with sex, can you ever have anything more?

I bring this up because it tends to be my pattern. On several occasions I have slept with a man innocently enough only to then fall hard.

It doesn’t happen right away and I’m almost never looking for anything beyond an orgasm. But usually after a few romps in the sack, some post-coital communication and an underlying attraction, I find it hard-pressed not to start excessively pinning and basically getting caught up in the rapture. Is my lust really triggering love? And if so, is it ever feasible that a real relationship will come out of it?

According to Helen Fisher, anthropologist and author of Why We Love? the answer is yes and possibly. Fisher says that “the hormone of sexual desire can trigger the release of the brains’ elixirs for romantic passion.” Basically after-sex cuddling with my one-night-stand sends all sorts of messages to my brain that are fueling my ardor.

So while it’s biologically possible, is it ever realistic or, for that matter, advisable?

My friend Meg slept with her now boyfriend before they started dating. They had been friends for some time but one night had a little too much to drink and ended up screwing. Three years later, they live together and are now contemplating getting married.

I haven’t had nearly as much success. In fact because of my penchant for falling for my friends-with-benefits I now have to avoid the Circa computer lab by Marston and also have stopped going to a certain ‘Sunday-Funday’ pool party.

I can’t help but think that gender differences play an underlying part here. It’s easy for women to get caught up in the intimacy created from sex, but for men, if there’s no challenge, no wooing, no working for it, they tend to lose interest. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, right?

Truth is, I wish I had an answer. While some of my friend’s have been successful in this department, I most certainly have not.

Perhaps the answer is simply that no one wants to tell their grandchildren that their happily ever after began with “once upon a time we had too much to drink and I took grandma home from the bar…”

Maybe the pattern is that relationships begin, end and subsist in all manners and forms. If you can make it work, great. In fact, if you can, do you think you could e-mail me how? I’d rather not avoid a certain bar altogether anymore.

she’s back…

more of the alexyss tylor show. this lady is NUTS! and i love it!!!

gentlemen don’t actually prefer blondes…

i have naturally blond hair. it’s dirty blond so i have, on occasion, dyed it lighter. for the last year, however, i have colored my hair varying shades of brown. i’m not going to lie, i prefer the darker hue. and i don’t think i’m alone; since becoming a brunette i have noticed more male attention. so you can imagine my glee when i saw this article: color me brunette?
apparently, i’m not the only one who enjoys the brunettes:
stats from a dating service confirm that men enjoy brunettes 3 to 1
a match.com question asking – Which hair color makes the best date? showed brunettes were top dog followed by redheads THEN blondes
askmen.com revealed that men thought brunettes were staggeringly more intelligent and funnier then blonds
they also found that given the chance men would rather hit on a brunette than a blonde
i also have naturally curly hair which i often straighten. when i was a sophomore in college i actually used to keep track of which hairstyle got me more attention…i forget the results now, but rest assured i did have some very nice charts and graphs from my informal study.
my point – i’m always looking to change my hair, so, i’m thinking wavy redhead next? thoughts? haha

news for 7.18.07

* the cultural meaning of sperm

* UF considering earlier class times to curb students drinking! boo!

*the post-blowjob makeout. is it really necessary for guys to get sqeamish about it? my fav quote of the piece: “Gentlemen, drink your cum. We practically got strep getting it out of you.”

*man steals 51 kegs of coors light. man apparently has no tastebuds.

*teacher-student sex relations…in the middle ages

* major in the world’s oldest profession? New Zealand colleges may soon offer courses in prostitution

* chlamydia now more prevalent in young people then gonorrhea

*dirty talk 101

*10 examples of why guy’s shouldn’t drink and invent. honest to goodness real life patents issued include: anatomic underwear (just visualize it for a sec…), the head-butt game, pogo-copter and my personal fav cleavage revealing pants

celebrating in midtown tonight!

i recently got some pretty good news! so, tonight i will be out celebrating said news at the bars in midtown.
and you should come join!

ever wanted to fuck like a porn star?

for those of us who have always wanted to literally fuck like a porn star… here they dish on their favorite positions…not gunna lie, they totally mention one of mine…

wow, today’s posts are..ummm…interesting…what’s on my mind? haha

the little mermaid – the unrated version

this is blasphemous! seriously, the little mermaid is one of my all-time favorite movies; if not my one and only all-time favorite movie! so, while this is incredibly disturbing (instead of singing ‘i wanna be part of your world’ ariel coos ‘i wish i had a vagina’) it is actually kinda funny. but, really who has the time to do something like this let alone think of this concept?

the great american facebook survey

recently collegehumor.com asked 25,000 people about their facebook habits.

i’m not gunna lie – i’m a facebook groupie.

i use it way too much. check it at least twice a day. continually stalk exs. stalk my friend’s exs. stalk people i just met once. and in general, completely over-analyze the significance of every poke, message, wall post, news feed item, profile entry and picture.

there is one thing that i don’t do however – masturbate to it. apparently, a good deal of you men do tho… ok, not a good deal, but enough of you to make me go – huh? and to make me go ‘huh?’ is never a good thing b/c my threshold for tolerance (for alcohol, for pain, for raunchy sex, for weird crazy things) is pretty damn high… and yet 15.5% of men say they masturbate to facebook. huh? masturbate to what exactly? a grainy 6×4 of your crush and their friends looking beyond wasted at a bar? or the fact that they list a Will Ferrell movie as one of their ‘favs’? (according to the facebook survey 34% of women and 39.5% of men do…). is there nothing like a shared love of Anchorman to get you all hot and horny?

the rest of the stats i’m not very surprised by.

almost half of you say you’ve used facebook drunk a few times (altho, i think the number should be more like 75%)
about 65% say you’ve stalked an ex in the last 6 months (altho, i think the number should be more like 99%)
and 60% of women say they have used their friend’s account to look at an inaccessible profile (you can’t possibly think i friended the new girlfriend of my best friend’s ex for no reason…)

more than anything else i guess it shows that facebook consumes us all way more than it should.

that said, are we friends on there yet? i wouldn’t wanna not know that you joined ‘the potato salad cult’ group (yes, that is a real group and yes i do have a friend in it, haha)

news for 7.11.07

* b/c there are so many randy coin collectors out there? and b/c proof was needed that missouri really is the “show me” state? porn parody state quarters?

* shocking news! new study confirms women wear the pants in most marriages

* how to survive a dry-spell, 9 steps from one of Manhattan’s premiere sex counselors…oddly enough it doen’t include my go-to tactic: drunk texting your exs

* one of my favorite words ‘ginormous’ (i just checked and i’ve used it twice on my blog…) is being added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary along with crunk (“style of Southern rap music”) and smackdowns (“contests in entertainment wrestling”) and a slew of other words. now all i need is for them to add ‘absofuckinlutely’ and i will never have to use the ‘ignore all’ spell-check button again!

* Sex and the City is officially coming to the big screen – but is a movie version necessary asks NY Mag? Absofuckinlutely.

when girlfriends attack

I recently got punched in the face. I thought bitch fights went out of vogue with teased hair and spandex but apparently not.

Let me backtrack. My friend and I were out and a guy, whose girlfriend we know, was hitting on my friend – hard. He was also annoying me by egging my friend on to show him her boobs. A trend that I also thought went out of vogue with Vanilla Ice and pogs. So I did what any good friend would do – I called his girlfriend.

She came to the bar and before I could utter a word slapped and scratched my friend. I was in shock, but immediately stood up for my friend explaining she did absolutely nothing. The girlfriend then slugged me.

The next morning I woke up with a swollen jaw and a totally bewildered demeanor. Did this girl really beat us up because her boyfriend is a dog? It just made me feel sad about the state of women these days.

We have always competed for men but that competition is usually bitchy, dramatic, manipulative and for the most part a head game. It’s rare that it comes to blows. But shouldn’t we be relying on each other for support and not trying to, literally, take each other out of the game?

I also understand jealousy, but this elevated that to a whole new level. This girl was so wrapped up in her boyfriend that she consciously, undrunkenly, choose to have it out with girls who were the prey of her asshole of a boyfriend. She consciously, undrunkenly, choose to not let loose on the person who deserved a beat down – her boyfriend. Why?

If you ask me it has to do with esteem. We have been taught since elementary school that we need to believe in our selves, but women who stay in abusive relationship, who attack other women, who blame everyone except the one person who deserves to be targeted do so for a simple reason – they don’t believe in themselves, they fail to see that they are worth more.

So girlies, while I usually preach about the importance of a bikini wax or the art of fellatio, I am instead hoping that you take away this lesson – if we all refused to be victims, if we all stood up and said the way we’re being treated is unacceptable, if we all refused to blame other women then perhaps this kind of behavior would disappear. It’s not the other woman; it’s the person sleeping in your bed.

That said, I did clock her back.

happy early 4th!

i’m going away to daytona beach for the 4th! i hope everyone else has a great day off too!

does size matter?

thanks for this jax! i think it’s funny!

5 Must-Try Sex Experiences in Gainesville

i recently ran across this article about ‘5 Must-Try Outdoor Sex Experiences’ and it made me think about gainesville. possibly b/c i have had a lot of outdoors sex in gainesville and possibly b/c (as i have previously mentioned) fucking outside the box is absolutely 100% endorsed by naked on university avenue. so here you go – 5 Must-Try Sex Experiences in Gainesville

5. the hot tub at the polos. it’s open. it’s free. it’s easy to get in. i know at least 5 people who have done it there already (which may actually be a reason not to, but, we’ll forgive that and say I just sets the mood nicely)

4. the bathroom of your favorite bar. this will most likely be disgusting and difficult to pull off, but no college experience is complete without at least one absolutely ridiculous hookup. plus, it will be a gem of a story and always get you drunk during ‘never have i ever’ games.

3. the dock at paynes prairie. is there really a better way to commune with nature?

2. the top floor of marstson library behind the stacks. not only will you have a nice view of most of campus but it will provide a whole new meaning to the term ‘study break’

1. the center of the 50 yard line of the football field. don’t get jealous, but i have done this – twice. here’s my advice: i found that only one gate is open late at night, it’s the one right on the ne corner of north-south (gale lemerand) and stadium road (my first try i actually walked around the perimeter of the entire stadium searching for a way in). they keep the gate open to actually get onto the field so just keep on walking down. i recommend some liquid courage also because there are often students making out in upper levels of the place and while some of us are not shy about this typa thing, i would guess the majority of us are. also wear something you don’t care about getting messed up. the sprinklers are also usually going around this time and while it created an interesting ambiance it also left me water logged. basically a football field romp is the pinnacle of g-ville sex stories and your friend’s will be really, really jealous. I promise! 😉

i love uncle jesse

not sure if you’ve seen this yet, but apparently, uncle jesse (aka john stamos) likes to get his drink on. i guess it should be embarassing for him (you know, humping a glass head and all…) but i think its hysterical!

news for 7.2.07

* apparently someone’s been reading my blog…or perhaps relations via text messaging is really that ubiquitous…is technology bad for relationships?

* on that vein, i left my phone in my friend’s car this weekend..and she drove home to fort myers, therefore rendering me phoneless…and i’m going nuts! from people waiting outside the Apple store for the first iphone’s to a new study that claims that British people would rather give up sex than their cells, there’s a lotta hullabaloo lately around the phone. but it does bring up an interesting question – is it really more important to stay connected than to get off?

*introducing the newest way to quench your thirst: alcoholic water!

*some college students in nj have started ‘wingmen’ a driving service that will drive your car home from the bar. next on their agenda to offer – rides to your dealers house and driving you through taco bell for beef and potato burritos

*daughters talking to their mothers about everything, sex lives especially, is the newest trend the NYTimes decided to cover this past weekend. truth is, i know a lot of people who do this. (myself included) indeed some of the best advice i have ever received EVER came from my best friend’s mom who sagely suggested point blank – if it’s not working in the bedroom it’s never going to work EVER. sometimes mom just does know best!

* a canada company delivers porn with pizza

* what do paris hilton and george bush have in common? the editor of us weekly draws some nice comparisons and also explains why the tabloid will no longer talk about the heiress – thank god!

*if you want to feel stupid that you really know nothing about this world – go here. actually, it’s a really interesting (and informative) Newsweek quiz – what’s your global iq?