the great american facebook survey
i’m not gunna lie – i’m a facebook groupie.
i use it way too much. check it at least twice a day. continually stalk exs. stalk my friend’s exs. stalk people i just met once. and in general, completely over-analyze the significance of every poke, message, wall post, news feed item, profile entry and picture.
there is one thing that i don’t do however – masturbate to it. apparently, a good deal of you men do tho… ok, not a good deal, but enough of you to make me go – huh? and to make me go ‘huh?’ is never a good thing b/c my threshold for tolerance (for alcohol, for pain, for raunchy sex, for weird crazy things) is pretty damn high… and yet 15.5% of men say they masturbate to facebook. huh? masturbate to what exactly? a grainy 6×4 of your crush and their friends looking beyond wasted at a bar? or the fact that they list a Will Ferrell movie as one of their ‘favs’? (according to the facebook survey 34% of women and 39.5% of men do…). is there nothing like a shared love of Anchorman to get you all hot and horny?
the rest of the stats i’m not very surprised by.
almost half of you say you’ve used facebook drunk a few times (altho, i think the number should be more like 75%)
about 65% say you’ve stalked an ex in the last 6 months (altho, i think the number should be more like 99%)
and 60% of women say they have used their friend’s account to look at an inaccessible profile (you can’t possibly think i friended the new girlfriend of my best friend’s ex for no reason…)
more than anything else i guess it shows that facebook consumes us all way more than it should.
that said, are we friends on there yet? i wouldn’t wanna not know that you joined ‘the potato salad cult’ group (yes, that is a real group and yes i do have a friend in it, haha)