Archive for June, 2007
i’m getting ready to leave town today (i.e., i still haven’t packed yet…) so these will be short and sweet! due to lack of sleep, these will also probably be not so inspired and not so funny…sorry!
* a British man is accused of having sex with his bike…his claim, however, is that he was drunk and there was a huge misunderstanding…ya…that excuse only works for certain situations…ur penis in a bike spoke, not so much…
* Las Vegas searches for a new slogan in conjunction with their popular, “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas…”one possibility they are considering “your Vegas is showing,” i’m not a fan.
*the South Florida Sun-Sentinel is trying to comprise a list of ‘the 7 wonders of Florida.’ i tend to agree with much of the contenders but am a little upset that ‘cheap beer in gainesville’ is not included…$2 pitchers, really, can anywhere in the state compete?
*ecstacy causes “significant” damage to both long and short-term memory, a new study reveals. ecstacy causes “significant” damage to both long and short-term memory, a new study reveals.
*NBA draft this thursday! who is gunna go first Horford, Brewer or Noah?
*something i would know nothing about, this site claims to be the ‘compendium of coitus rejectus’ –> hownottogetlaid.com
i recently had a mini-breakdown.
it was midnight and i was texting with a crush. it was cordial, but i was (at least i’d like to believe i was) being coy, cutsey and a wee bit flirty when suddenly i didn’t receive a message back. i waited about 20 minutes before i texted my friend to explain that he “just kinda didn’t respond” and that “it was weird b/c you coulda ended a convo then, but you also didn’t have to.” i waited another 20 minutes for her to respond – nothing. i was now beyond confused. was it possible that my texts weren’t going through? what are the odds of that after all? and if so, did it mean that he thought that i wasn’t responding to him? instead of simply calling him and asking what the deal was, i called my friend.
“did you get my texts?”
in a panic i sent a text out to 4 other people, who already know how neurotic i can be, asking them to please text me back b/c i was concerned i wasn’t able to text in the first place.
still not convinced i began calling these friends just to confirm that they had not, in fact, received my texts. finally some relief – an hour after the initial non-response, a friend told me she was getting my texts.
what was i to think? did my crush hate me? was there something wrong with only some of my friend’s phones? why did others not answer my phone pleads at 1:37am? didn’t they grasp that i was on the verge of a short circuit myself?
technology is supposed to make us more connected. we’re supposed to be able to communicate faster and more efficiently. instead its just left me panicked and confused. (albeit with something for the drama queen in me to feed off of…)
this isn’t the first time technology has failed me either. i have nightmares, almost weekly, of people attempting to google my name.
i’m blessed (i mean this VERY sarcastically) with a very original name. when you google me, you get me. maybe this is a good thing to some people, but maybe some people don’t have a picture posted of them on a site they have no jurisdiction to control. a picture that is from 7 years ago – you know the REALLY awkward years. i have considered contacting the site manager many many times, but have always wussed out. (if you do in fact know my real name, please realize that admitting this publicly is more difficult for me than talking about failed attempts at anal sex…so please, please realize that everyone has their bad years…don’t make me google you!)
the larger point – technology allows us more access to people, but at a price.
people’s myspace pages and facebook profiles are really just products of what people want us to believe able them, not necessarily true reflections.
and bootytext messages make relationships so hands off that you don’t even have to hear a person’s voice to arrange a rendevous. a simple 😉 ususally suffices.
i fall victim to it also.
obviously i freaked about a text. i have profiles on both myspace and facebook. and i have friends who are in relationships with people they have meet on online dating sites.
technology does have its perks.
all i’m saying is it really sucks when you’re waiting for a text at 2am and you’re not sure if its coming because a) the person doesn’t wanna talk to you b) the person is too drunk to operate a phone or c) your goddamn phone service is a F*%@ing piece of S$^t! 😀
* i don’t really care about celeb related stuff (or, at least i don’t feel like including it here) but, this is kinda funny. paris hilton’s handwriting looks like that of an 8-year-old… it’s analyzed by a handwriting expert here, who basically suggests, hilton’s a retard. no duh!
* do people really cheat more over summer because the warm weather affects their hormones and if so, is FL a literal hotbed for cheaters year-round? **thanks C for this :)**
* the 10 most bizarre beers – think beer for dogs, champagne beer and a beer+milk beer called bilk among others
*President Bush tries to make crocs chic…b/c the pure hideousness of them isn’t enough to get a certain friend of mine to stop wearing those gross things…
*sex advice from casserole bakers…ex) “what’s the sexiest noodle? if you’re actually using it in foreplay, you’d have more options with something like linguini than you would with something like ravioli.”
*the science of gaydar – if sexual orientation is biological, are the traits that make people seem gay innate, too? totally interesting (and l o n g) piece…here’s an example of what you can learn: research suggests that the index fingers of most straight men are shorter than their ring fingers, and for most women they are the same length or longer. gay men and lesbians tend to have reversed ratios.
i guarantee u just checked your hand! lol
there’s been a lot written recently on whether women on birth control (which raises estrogen levels) are as interested in porn. Example A. but as a female who is (both on bc and interested in porn) i find this hard to believe. indeed, could i possibly be any more interested in porn? very, very doubtful…and also there have been periods when i was not on the pill and i honestly have not seen much of a change in my sex drive. which is exactly why i LOVE this article – Example B – which essentially finds that the pill + porn = perhaps less horny, perhaps no difference. through intense independent study (the author basically phones her friends to ask ’em…) we get gems like this:
ladyfriend1: man! i really need to get off the pill
ladyfriend1: actually no i don’t, i’m deleteriously horny as it is
ladyfriend1: anyway. i think i totally stare at the genitals? the vaginas specifically? whenever i watch porn i start to suspect that i am a lez
ladyfriend1: cause the vaginas are like all i care about, i’m fascinated by ’em
and the truth is all the women i know would say something like that (well, not all of them, but, i guess i would say something like that is the point…lol)
anywayz, its funny, plus i wanted an excuse to post this picture. after all if you want me less interested in porn show me a pic like that! like the covers of cheesey romance novels is this not a HUGE turnoff? now that’s something i think we can agree on!
how facebook could crush myspace, yahoo!, and google.
i love (not even lurve, but love!) the first line in this article:
“there comes a time in every young person’s life—soon after teething, usually—when she must make a momentous decision: MySpace or Facebook?”
i’m a facebooker (granted i’m on both), which makes sense since the author of this article says of facebook: think of it as the Volvo of social networking. i don’t think it’s a coincidence that my first car was a blue volvo s40 (oh how i miss that car…)
the author of this article is also on my side, he hypothesizes that with the addition of instant messaging and a more efficient, larger e-mail system, facebook, not chaotic myspace, is positioning itself for global internet domination.
as someone who checks their facebook religiously, i don’t think he’s that off base…
as a rule of thumb I’m usually against telling your partner just how many people you’ve been with. it inevitably leads to a problem – she’s been with too many, he’s been with too few, neither of them want to imagine their beloved with anyone else, etc. not to mention who is totally honest about their number anyways? which is exactly the qualm i have with a new study done by the National Center for Health Statistics, a branch of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
the study found that, on average, men sleep with 7 people over their lifetime, women just 4.
the federal study says that because it collected the data from 6,237 adults, aged 20 to 59, “using high-tech methods to solicit candid answers” (i.e., computer-assisted self-interviews) these are probably the most accurate numbers out there on americans’ sex lives.
other numbers of note:
* 29 percent of men and 9 percent of women report having 15 or more heterosexual partners in a lifetime
* 16 percent of adults first had sex before age 15
* 15 percent abstained from sex until at least age 21
* 25 percent of women and 17 percent of men reported having sex with just one person in their lifetime
* 11 percent of Americans were virgins before they got married
while i applaud any effort to find out this kind of information and i see merit in it’s usefulness (whether its generating more support for sex education, shedding further light on the importance of STD prevention or increasing funding towards birth control distribution or ‘planned parenthood-esque’ organizations) i still can’t help but believe that even anonymous self-reporting will have it’s liars, especially when dishing this sorta dirt to the federal government.
perhaps what i’m getting at is that information regarding people’s sex lives is so seeped in societal and cultural biases and beliefs that it often elicits such shame and anxiety that there are few people who will even admit to themselves just how many sexual partners they have had. not to mention someone who is 59 could easily forget a partner when examining their behavior over a lifetime. further what definition of sex is being applied here? does sex include sexual activities such as oral sex (ala Bill Clinton) or anal sex? when i was a virgin several men used to like to recommend anal sex as a way for me to retain my virginal status – luckily i was smart enough to know better – but i’m sure there are more than a few people who have engaged in that and still believed they were not having actual sex.
and perhaps i’m also coming out of the closet as a big old slut here (or, as i like to refer to it, just a sexually charged woman) but who are these women who only sleep with 4 people their entire lives?!?!
even my most tame friends, who are by the way in their early 20s and with a lot of sex before them, can count a handful.
my point – while it’s good to be informed you have to take this information with a grain of salt.
am i off the mark here, but, do you think these numbers seem accurate?
as a testament to just how environmentally conscious our society is becoming, activists are waging war on sex toy manufacturers who use ‘phthalates,’ a chemical compound family which is responsible for making dildos, vibrators and “love dolls” have that soft, pliable, life-like feel. their complaint? using phthalates is like bathing in DDT.
several scientists disagree and claim there is simply not enough research to suggest what these compounds can do to our bodies.
so what are we to do?
first off, put a condom over sex toys. makes sense if you think about how difficult some are to clean (not that I’m talking from experience regarding ultra-ribbed dildos or anything..)
secondly, there are plenty of toys made with silicone (making them also dishwasher safe and virtually indestructable), the catch is that these toys often cost a little more. but they are available nontheless.
as am i tonight, anyone have plans? after all, friday night and a sex toy just isn’t the same (even a green colored ultra ribbed one…not that i own that or anything).