objectification is a two-way street

June 14, 2007 at 12:02 pm 1 comment

I admit to checking out other women’s boobs. I’m not sexually interested in them, but, rather, curious how mine compare. Are hers perkier than mine? Bigger? Rounder? Firmer looking?

My guy friend admits he’s an ass man. The more “bubbly” the better he explains. He doesn’t like wide butts only those of the “sticking out there..shelf” variety.

It all makes me think how unfair it is. Push-up bras and other shapers, enhancers and firmers aside, anyone can size up a woman’s physical assets just by looking at her.

But as a self-proclaimed penis lover, I don’t ever have any idea what I’m getting myself into before I literally get into his pants.

Sure the stereotypes abound – he has big shoes, his hands are huge. But I have generally come to find (or, rather not cum to find) that those are usually poor predictors.

I am also the kind of person who always wants what they can’t have. I regularly find myself looking around my classes, at bars, waiting in line at Starbucks wondering just how big Joe Schmoo’s johnson is. Is he girthy? Meaty? Circumcised? Long and thin? Tasty and kosher?

Much like my interest in boobs, my penis obsession is largely fueled by scientific interest – I just want to know what he’s packing.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not picking on guys who may be below the estimated average penis size of 5.25 inches (when hard, relax dude). Indeed, super large penises, like extra large tampons, scare me. I am just curious as to what size it is and what it looks like.

On the whole, my obsession does have a logical root though. Samples of average length penises’ simply don’t tell the whole story. There are so many variations on the form that are, for the most part, undocumented.

My obsession is also nothing new. It’s no coincidence that some of the greatest works of art, pieces that are now deemed “classics” are of men’s nether regions – the David, several Da Vinci sketches or Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam. What was once a celebration of a man’s manliness is now tucked away in extra support boxer briefs and I can’t help but wonder why?

When Mark Wahlberg played Dirt Diggler in 1997’s “Boogie Nights” he used a prosthetic for his now infamous closing scene even though the male frontal nudity was probably only a nanosecond long. Why the shame Marky Mark?

He’s not alone. Think Austin Power’s penis pump and pop-up internet ads for penial implants.

It all makes me kind of chuckle. Our society is so boob obsessed that seeing a pair of tits is about as un-noteworthy as passing a Greek shirt on Wednesdays.

My larger point is this – objectification is a two-way street. Why is it so socially acceptable for women to pose in Playboy, for men to frequent strip clubs and encourage drunken girls to make out with each other? Why are boobs everywhere and far from taboo and yet penises so concealed? If so many women are willing to, literally, put it all out there, then I think it is only fair that men do the same.

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Entry filed under: anatomy, columns, opinion piece, sex.

ode to the clucker your (late) week in sex…

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