Posts filed under ‘drinking’
supersized news for 9.4.07
*literal “promise ring” i.e., do you promise to do this to me?
*in case you were ever wondering how to classify your kink – boinkology did it for you with this VERY detailed flowchart. gotta say I never knew there was such a thing as balloon fetishes. see, you really do learn something new every day!
* 100 reason’s you’re still single with such gems as “you refuse to remove your Bluetooth earpiece during sex.”
*Playboy creates social networking site to compete with Facebook and Myspace…because poking on Facebook wasn’t enough
*finally, some incentive to do housework – Vortex Vibrations is a new “plastic device made to fit on the end of a vacuum cleaner hose that concentrates the airflow to create a rapid and gentle vibration.” Bonus: supposedly you can climax in 10 seconds
* more: human papilloma virus (HPV) vaccines may decrease chances of oral cancer
*beer pong gear gets WSJ write up
*College gets gender neutral restroom and a gold star from naked on university avenue for being so open and accepting!
random news for 8.10.07
*19 year old UF student wins a million bucks on TV game show. note to self – meet jaime sadler and convince him to cover your bar tab.
*if naked on university ave were to engage in phone sex (we’re neither denying nor admitting to anything here!), this is how we’d do it. the gPod is a vibrator designed to respond automatically to sounds picked up by an accompanying handset, which can plug into anything from a telephone to a music player to a television. interactive porn anyone?
*the Treasury Department is considering a new rule that would require companies to put alcoholic content, serving sizes and nutritional information on all alcoholic drink packaging. here’s a cheat sheet in regards to carbs: michelob ultra < miller light < bud light
* i feel as though i could have written this, but I’ll post it anywayz –>sex advice from bouncers. my fav tidbit: shaving your pubic hair to read ‘hi’ would be a good idea or into a shamrock which 21 year old Thomas says would be “nifty.”
* the 20 most romantic books ever written. Wuthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice, Romeo and Juliet, Jane Eyre and Gone With the Wind top list. i’ve read 4 outa the 5. i’m such a chick.
* on polar opposite news – the male scale lists, on a sliding gradient, the 10 male archetypes. my friend’s a “Jason Bourne” type. i go for the “Hemingway” type – tragic, alcoholic, brilliant, misogynists have always kinda been my thing. which are you or who is your type?
sexual health news for 8.10.07
*finally, there’s no excuse for the shar-pei –> “Uncircumcised men receive no more sexual sensation than circumcised men, according to a new study that contradicts the widely held belief.”
*even more reasons to not take the drugs i probably so desperately need – a new theory claims that Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil and other antidepressant drugs alter brain chemistry and ultimately stunt someone from falling in love. maybe they should just top off the drugs with a little alcohol. don’t pretend like you don’t tell everyone and their mother at the bar that you “love them” after a round of drinks?
* women with boob jobs 3x more likely to commit suicide. and you thought getting honks from dirty truck drivers passing by would solve all your problems!
* a UK condom company claims its produced a new condom that helps “men have firmer and bigger erections, as well as a longer-lasting sexual experience.” not surprisingly stock shares increased nearly 15%; prospective buyers hope thats not the only thing that will increase.
news for 7.25.07
*funny or offensive? i’m not gunna lie, i think it’s great. but i do have a sick sense of humor…
*a sex gel to inactivate HIV and herpes? well if thats not another reason to lube up, i dunno what is? (thankx cath! 😉
*teen sex rate stays the same (breaking pervious declining pattern). why surely all that right-wing endorsed abstinence-only education wouldn’t be at the helm? haha 🙂 (sorry cath haha)
*diet soda linked to heart risks. now we just need to know if the addition of rum counteracts that… (sorry em haha)
* no more fighting over the remote! introducing a his and hers remote where each can preprogram 100 channels! I want one for my roomie and i! only i guess ours should say hers 1 and hers 2.
*in more lube news, you can now smell like a bakery, down there. Intimate Options Personal Lubricant Mousse, now available in drugstores nationwide, is a mousse that comes in vanilla and vanilla cinnamon (as well as unscented) perfect for the over eater 😉 eww that was crude…i love it! haha
* obesity, like chlamydia, is now believed to spread like a disease. yup. basically if your friend’s fat, chances are you will be too. lovely.
* more reassurance in the intellect of the american people – 4 out of 5 plastic surgery recipients say they were influenced by reality tv.
* i used to be fairly environmentally conscious. then i read THIS. “farmers in Mexico are now ditching the blue agave plant used to make the liquor to cash in on corn and the demand for alternative fuel — and some say that could lead to the great tequila shortage.”
*but for the news that really most affects me – starbucks is raising prices! boo! b/c choosing between a two-cheeseburger meal at mcdonald’s and a coffee wasn’t a hard enough decision already! blah!
news for 7.22.07
*what if stars like jennifer aniston (above), pam anderson and john travolta were normal people? ya, they’d look pretty bad fat and balding…
* u’d think by now people would get that the internet really is just for porn. so is it at all surprising that Nigerian schoolchildren who received laptops from U.S. aid organizations are using them to surf nudie sites?
* drinking and dating guide. seriously. filed with tidbits like: tequila is good for redheads, jagermeister for gals still living in places where it’s acceptable to wear greek letters, scotch for trannies and long island’s for those who have appeared on episodes of Blind Date
* nation’s first holistic, hospital-based sexual medicine center opens in san diego
*quiz – could you be president?
* i love hbo. the most sexually explicit scripted drama ever comes to the network this fall! think real sex meets fiction!
* i love new zealand. heroism rewarded with beer. brazilant!
*dumbasses – group wants guns allowed on santa fe and uf campuses. r u kidding me?!?!?
news for 7.18.07
* the cultural meaning of sperm
* UF considering earlier class times to curb students drinking! boo!
*the post-blowjob makeout. is it really necessary for guys to get sqeamish about it? my fav quote of the piece: “Gentlemen, drink your cum. We practically got strep getting it out of you.”
*man steals 51 kegs of coors light. man apparently has no tastebuds.
*teacher-student sex relations…in the middle ages
* major in the world’s oldest profession? New Zealand colleges may soon offer courses in prostitution
* chlamydia now more prevalent in young people then gonorrhea
*10 examples of why guy’s shouldn’t drink and invent. honest to goodness real life patents issued include: anatomic underwear (just visualize it for a sec…), the head-butt game, pogo-copter and my personal fav cleavage revealing pants
i love uncle jesse
not sure if you’ve seen this yet, but apparently, uncle jesse (aka john stamos) likes to get his drink on. i guess it should be embarassing for him (you know, humping a glass head and all…) but i think its hysterical!
news for 6.26.07
i’m getting ready to leave town today (i.e., i still haven’t packed yet…) so these will be short and sweet! due to lack of sleep, these will also probably be not so inspired and not so funny…sorry!
* why MySpace is for freaks and Facebook is for preps
* a British man is accused of having sex with his bike…his claim, however, is that he was drunk and there was a huge misunderstanding…ya…that excuse only works for certain situations…ur penis in a bike spoke, not so much…
* Las Vegas searches for a new slogan in conjunction with their popular, “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas…”one possibility they are considering “your Vegas is showing,” i’m not a fan.
*the South Florida Sun-Sentinel is trying to comprise a list of ‘the 7 wonders of Florida.’ i tend to agree with much of the contenders but am a little upset that ‘cheap beer in gainesville’ is not included…$2 pitchers, really, can anywhere in the state compete?
*ecstacy causes “significant” damage to both long and short-term memory, a new study reveals. ecstacy causes “significant” damage to both long and short-term memory, a new study reveals.
*NBA draft this thursday! who is gunna go first Horford, Brewer or Noah?
*something i would know nothing about, this site claims to be the ‘compendium of coitus rejectus’ –> hownottogetlaid.com
news for 6.23.07
* i don’t really care about celeb related stuff (or, at least i don’t feel like including it here) but, this is kinda funny. paris hilton’s handwriting looks like that of an 8-year-old… it’s analyzed by a handwriting expert here, who basically suggests, hilton’s a retard. no duh!
* do people really cheat more over summer because the warm weather affects their hormones and if so, is FL a literal hotbed for cheaters year-round? **thanks C for this :)**
* the 10 most bizarre beers – think beer for dogs, champagne beer and a beer+milk beer called bilk among others
* even more budget cuts at UF means harder times in college of liberal arts and sciences…
*President Bush tries to make crocs chic…b/c the pure hideousness of them isn’t enough to get a certain friend of mine to stop wearing those gross things…
*sex advice from casserole bakers…ex) “what’s the sexiest noodle? if you’re actually using it in foreplay, you’d have more options with something like linguini than you would with something like ravioli.”
*the science of gaydar – if sexual orientation is biological, are the traits that make people seem gay innate, too? totally interesting (and l o n g) piece…here’s an example of what you can learn: research suggests that the index fingers of most straight men are shorter than their ring fingers, and for most women they are the same length or longer. gay men and lesbians tend to have reversed ratios.
i guarantee u just checked your hand! lol
news for 6.22.07
* new study suggests older siblings have higher IQs, and as a big sis i would have to agree! 😉 i mean, come on bro, u know i got away with so much more shit than you as a kid! who was the one who got grounded for throwing a party at the neighbors while he was supposed to be house sitting even tho mom and dad could clearly drive by the place and see the plethora of cars outside?
* i’m a total foodie. and anyone who watched Top Chef Season 2 knows about Marcel and foams. well, turns out molecular gastronomy has entered the cocktail world. in London you can now order a Smoked Old-Fashioned, made with whisky, sugar syrup and tobacco AND leather and smoke essence. it’s described as “sucking your granddad’s old sofa – but in a good way.” weird and yet totally intriguing.
* in literal trailer trash news: caught in a love-triangle, a 24-year-old homeless man went on a 24-hour robbery spree too win his beloved over by buying her a new trailer for the two of them to live in and escape her ex-boyfriend who had just been released from prison for – surprise, surprise – a pair of armed robberies in 2004. what a lucky, lucky woman to be choosing between two such fine men. perhaps ABC should inquire about these dudes to be the new Bachelor?
* in April we learned that one year after college graduation, women working full time earn just 80 percent as much as their male counterparts. now comes news that it’s the majors women are choosing thats the culprit. you mean going to school to get your MRS is not a good life strategy?
* a woman is found with a blood-alcohol content of .50 two-hours after she stopped drinking (for perspective: .08 is legally intoxicated in FL and most experts say that at a .50 one would likely experience death…) insert your own, ‘that’s nothing, one time i drank…’ comment here ____________________________________.
* apparantly pop culture and politics are causing the t-shirt industry to boom. i mean who wouldn’t want a shirt with this on it:
(it’s available here…)
* only 4% of Americans between ages 20-59 are virgins. ironically, in an unrelated study only 4% of Americans between ages 20-59 have never been drunk…
* i love Tom Ford (as evidenced here). so, i’m not at all surprised and not at all unhappy that he will be the new face of his own fragrance line also called, not surprisingly, ‘Tom Ford.’ you gotta love this guy’s ego!
*anyone else annoyed by grown women, especially capable successful ones, who still talk like little girls? ya…me too! so is NYU professor Sheila Wellington who explains that their babyish sounding voice figuratively screams: “take care of me, be sweet to me, i’m vulnerable, i’m weak.” gag! new rule: speak your age
* why do men pee in the shower? apparently there are three types that do: pigs (‘i do it all the time’),liars (“I’ve done it, but, like, it’s not something I do”) and publicity whores (“only at the gym, baby”). who knew?
news for 6.21.07
*According to a new study, approximately eight percent of dreams people report contain some form of sexually-related activity. similar to real life, absolutely no male respondents reported having their partner experience an orgasm during their dream (4% of women could report they did).
* Gainesville area police are cracking down on DUIs after the death of Lt. Corey Dahlem the night of the Gator’s Basketball National Championship. word to the wise – avoid University Ave. like the plague (oh and don’t blow…)
*new eating disorder de jour –> Diabulimia: where diabetic girls skip insulin to lose weight. the ingenious practice may lead to coma or early death
* Forbes releases the most expensive ways men compensate for their penis’ (also known as a list of the most expensive cars in the U.S.)
*another Gainesville bar bids adieu (at least for a month…) – Shamrock closes to reopen downtown as Brophy’s Irish Pub and a new bar will open in its old location
* ever wonder if one of your neighbors has genital warts (or, for more practical applications, the flu)? whoisisck.org uses google-maps technology to allow people to post their illnesses (relax, it’s anonymous!) and also to check out who is infected in their area
* my friends and i honestly thought of this idea awhile ago…man, we missed our chance! beer-sicles. brazillant or berserk?
*an idea i certainly did not think of: making an internal ‘pussy’ cast…yup, display a plaster of your vagina on your mantle. the sites pitch: “in the plaster casts you get a real sense of the shape, texture and volume of the vagina and in clear resin you can see even more. imagine a view through the inner and outer lips right deep down into the hidden mysteries within.” well then…
*Newest aphrodisiac in South Korea – slime eels
* In other weird asian sex news – every April in Kanamara, Japan they have a Fertility Festival, where there is a parade for an enormous pink penis… observe:
shouldn’t condoms be marketed to those who engage in casual sex especially?
Pigs with Cellphones, but No Condoms from the NYTimes
a recent condom ad is causing some tails to wag…
the commercial, which was denied air time by both CBS and FOX, depicts a pig at a bar surrounded by head-turning women. the pig then goes to the bathroom, grabs a condom and magically turns into an incredibly attractive man who in return now attracts the gorgeous women. the tag: “Evolve. Use a condom every time.”
so what’s the problem?
apparently the issue is with the fact that the condom is being touted as a vital part of achieving sexual pleasure not just as a means of birth control or disease prevention for committed couples. previously, condom ads were usually only advertised as serving the later.
if you ask me, it’s ridiculous.
condoms are important – period. and it’s a reality that some people engage in recreational sex and often after meeting those people at a bar. (indeed, i would probably be a sexual novice if that weren’t the case…)
i can’t agree with NYU professor and media critic Mark Crispin Miller more when he asserts, “I mean, let’s get real here. Fox and CBS and all of them are in the business of nonstop soft porn, but God forbid we should use a condom in the pursuit of sexual pleasure.”
ode to the clucker
my freshmen year my life revolved around a few things
1 – driving around half my dorm room floor – i was the only one (or perhaps the only one nice enough) who had a car
2 – crying about men (some things never change…)
3 – spending my nights at cluck-u
The clucker has since gone through various changes (it was Dirty Bird’s b/c they didn’t wanna pay the franchise fees… and then reopened under new management as Sloppy Gator – which had nothing to do with the spirit of the clucker…) and it will soon become condos. how sad.
i know i should have so many memories of that place (i would literally spend 6 nights a week there), but unfortunately, i can’t recall half of them.
but anyone of a certain age can wax poetic about free beer at 3 (when it was still Natty b/f they switched to the dirty, nasty South Paw) bottomless beers for $5.95 (was that the price? lol), when the stripper pole was added, french fries served until 2am, that only one stall in the girl’s bathroom worked at any given time, when the position of the bar changed, playing nudie photo hunt, going behind the bar to make your own shots, finding the girl outside the side entrance crying in the parking lot (btw – that girl was usually me!) and watching people wash off X’s on their hands in the bathroom (why didn’t you guys know Henry too?)
i recently ran into a former bartender from there (who am i kidding his # is still in my phone) and i laughed about how i never even had a fake-ID back then. “i was only 18!’ i told him. ‘do u think we didn’t know or cared?’ he replied.
oh the good old days…
the first beer i shared with my father was there…i received my first college booty call while there…got into an actual fight with a boy out front…danced under the tent on football games…always said hi to Spencer and avoided the other meaner brother…danced on the pole covered in electric paint after a day-glo…engraved my name into a purple tabletop…hid in the bathroom when my crush entered the bar…took pictures with the dude (they called him jew boy) who used to dress up in the chicken suit…helped mop the floor up a few nights…spent every major drinking holiday there…refused to pay gameday prices as i was a regular…
and i’m sure i’m not the only one! so here’s to you clucker! you will forever be remembered, albeit in the hazy minds of college alcoholics everywhere!
news for 6.14.07
* say it ain’t so! a drought in Lynchburg, TN may cause big problems for whiskey production. “The spring used to craft Jack Daniel’s may dry up, and although the Tennessee whiskey maker is conserving the water, distillers are wondering what may happen if the spring goes dry.”
* because having one relationship isn’t stressful enough…Salon examines the ‘poly’ lifestyle, which is basically swinging but with feelings
* more adolescent boys are seeking the help of plastic surgeons to take care of their enlarged male breasts (also known as gynecomastia)…what’s wrong with the “Bro or Mansierre” designed by Krammer and Frank Costanza?
* 10 reasons that free porn does not threaten the adult industry
* Charleston paper says: “It is patently stupid to say that a college student is too young to drink a beer.” further: “In South Carolina, being old enough to get married, get a credit card, and get shot at for your country used to mean you were old enough for a cold one…then America went all stupid.” ahem, america has been stupid for quite some time now…
* In Australia, ‘Metro’s’ are out; ‘Blue-collar, manly men” are in…well, at least some females are sending the message that pink shirts are never a good idea…
news for 6.13.07
* According to the World Health Organization (and published by The Economist), America ranks 40th worldwide in alcohol consumption. Not gunna lie, I’m a lil disappointed in that. The reasoning? Stricter minimum-age requirements mean the average person only drinks 8.6 liters (roughly 2.27 gallons) a year. Hmmm…who are those people who only drink that much? God knows i don’t know them! The country with the largest consumption? Luxembourg with 15.5 liters (4.09 gallons ) annually. Makes sense, after all, what else is there to do in Luxembourg?
*Recreational Viagra use may adversely affect sperm function and male fertility in young men
* UF to add about 2,000 more parking spots…over the next 10 years…
* Ladies, chances are if you had a good relationship with your father that you are looking for someone who, literally, looks like your dad. Bad relationship? You’re not.
* Minor league baseball team the Ft. Myers Miracle will pay homage to Billy Donovan during tonight’s 7:05pm game versus the Tampa Yankees. “Anytime during the game, if they are not sure that they want to be there, they can leave and negotiate a release from their ticket purchase,” the Miracle news release said.
more duh! news, fake ID use goes up as freshmen come to town…AND Gator Shitty is cracking down! lol
From the Gainesville Sun – Summer B and Fall Semesters Bring an Influx of Fake IDs
I clicked on this story b/c i thought it would be relevant for me to repost…however, after reading it, it’s more humor than anything else. You see, there are quotes from the manager, various doormen and a server at the Shitty, i.e, Gator City, also known to some as “home.” Those alone make this a must-read. As in, if you actually know who i am, you will appreciate this as well…haha 🙂
naked on university avenue 
