Posts filed under ‘University of Florida’
Filming recently began on a big screen adaptation to the wildly successful HBO sitcom Sex and the City. And because I own all seven DVDs (before you IMDB it, there were two DVDs for Season 6), watch the Season Two finale religiously after a breakup (try it, I swear by that and greasy Krystal burgers) and use Samantha quotes as bar pickup lines, it pains me to admit this, but I think the fairy tale is over.
As a young 20-something I have fervently held onto the belief that my own Mr. Big, my very special Mr. Right, was just right around the corner. But maybe my Jane Austen-loving self has been misled by Hallmark fueled holidays and happily ever after messages.
Maybe we are just disheartening ourselves into thinking our perfect match is just listlessly waiting for us.
If pop culture truly is the barometer of mass culture perhaps we’re now being force-fed a new message.
The anti-heroes of cinema (think loserish Ben in this summer’s hit Knocked Up) and television (think the lovable dorks of The Pick Up Artist) and our own campus (how cute is silver-foxed Jeremy Foley, the only division I athletic director to garner national titles in both football and basketball) have all replaced the traditional white knights.
Chances are you probably know, or are, an anti-hero. You know the type – spending too many hours playing World of Warcraft, quoting Will Ferrell movies constantly and probably in need of cleaning their bedrooms.
Story time – I saw Knocked Up in the movie theater this summer and left feeling horribly disappointed. Sure it was hysterical, but Katherine Heigel’s character seemed far too put together to actually like slacker Ben. A drunken one-night-stand seemed plausible enough, but for her to then fall for Seth Rogen’s character seemed the kind of stuff produced only in male fantasyland.
Fast forward to last night when I watched the DVD with my boyfriend. Not even halfway through I found myself staring at him out of the corner of my eye, a continuous “oh my god” repeating in my head. My boyfriend was of the Ben mold.
Thing is, I couldn’t be happier.
The anti-hero may not look like Brad Pitt, but his sweet, self-deprecating soul is incredibly more worthwhile and endearing than a six-pack.
My larger point – these movies and television shows work because they’re honest.
Life is unexpected and often a mess, sometimes the best you can do is muddle your way through it. And if you have someone warm and funny to do that with, well, there’s really nothing better.
I’ve spent a large majority of my life looking for what I thought Prince Charming should be, only to end up depressed and disillusioned.
I’m not advocating lowering your standards. I am advising, however, that you alter them. It’s not about what these men lack, it’s about their undiscovered depth and their earnest desire to just make someone else happy.
Sex and the City did get something right, however. In an early episode Mr. Big tells Carrie, who is concerned about Big’s past relationships with several model-types, that sometimes you just want to be with the one who makes you laugh.
Thing is, the moral doesn’t just apply to females. Both genders could stand to gain a lot from looking beyond the surface. Often times it’s our flaws that make us both beautiful and lovable.
Let’s face it – the anti-hero hero is pretty hot.
Yesterday at UF, Senator and former Presidential hopeful John Kerry came to speak. When student Andrew Meyer went to ask a question the below event ensued. I was not at the event, and while I don’t necessarily condone Meyer’s bombastic tactics towards addressing the Senator, I view the below events as completely unwarranted and frankly reprehensible. Judge for yourself:
Everywhere I turn it seems someone (usually someone older than 30) is bashing the so-called “hookup culture.” And yet I know only a handful of people who don’t somehow engage in it.
As I’ve come to know it, a “hookup” is a catchall phrase for a brief sexual encounter ranging from kissing to intercourse. “Subversive,” “demoralizing” and “unfulfilling” are the terms most associated with the act. For women especially, the stigma is intense.
To the critics, I offer this: You are retrograde and narrow-minded.
In the 1960s counterculture, the idea of “free love” was conceived and immediately linked with promiscuity and deviance. But “free love” was much more than that. It never advocated unhealthy sexual relationships. Instead, it advanced the idea that love and sexual relationships should be free of government and religious jurisdiction.
“Free love” allows me to have this very job because it attempted to lift the taboo associated with allowing sex to be a normal part of public discourse.
Hookups today are similarly attacked for not falling within society’s predefined courtship patterns.
I can’t help but think there’s more than one way to skin a cat.
For as long as I can remember, education has taught us there is no set way of doing things. Who’s to say that our hookup culture is not making us more sexually savvy?
For me, hookups have been both rewarding and unsatisfying experiences. I have learned a good deal about myself sexually, have felt powerful and sexy by engaging in a sexual act for only the pure pleasure it brings, and have freed up time I would usually spend fostering a relationship, devoting it instead to my schoolwork and career aims.
At the same time, I have felt sad on some occasions when my hookup partner did not call me or when I craved a deeper emotional connection. But can’t the same sentiments be applied to so-called “normal” relationships as well? There will always be favorable returns as well as disappointments in any relationship.
The basic question I see here is this: Can sex, or more broadly, sexual acts without love, still be gratifying? For me, the answer is a resounding yes. For others, that is not always the case – and that is perfectly acceptable too.
Maybe what’s lacking in our culture’s view on sexuality is an open mind for people who engage in both hookups and traditionally defined relationships.
As long as you are engaging in an act of your own free will while being safe doing so, is it really so harmful? Central to that equation is communication, which is the cornerstone to all relationships.
Perhaps I simply view “the hookup” as another item to be enjoyed on the sexual pu pu platter.
Like “free love” before it, hookups extol an important virtue: Love and sex exist in various forms, none of which should be judged or controlled.
mtvU the version of MTV that plays on college campuses nationwide (think inside the Reitz) has a new show with renowned sexpert (and my new Facebook friend!) Dr. Ruth. You should definitely check it out, this week’s short (roughly 4-min) episode asks the question: is college life conducive to abstinence?
SEX CRED WITH DR. RUTH
More incentive to watch? How fabulous would it be to see yours truly on the show?
You know you wanna write in and tell mtvU that UF students, and more aptly their sex lives, need representation!
i wish i could figure out how to post audio on this! regardless, you have to check this out:
I lost my Gator1 song
It’s creatively wonderful, but the production value is really what makes me laugh! so professional! how long did you Theta Sigma boys work on this? maybe u need to submit it to Diddy; i think you’re better then the boys on the recent Making the Band!