single, sexless and somewhat loving it

June 9, 2007 at 1:51 am 3 comments

life has been kinda stressful and crazy lately.
wait – that’s a total lie. things r only somewhat hectic right now b/c i skipped out on school for a few days and went with my friend to O-town to party with the guy who she was seeing (as in, now, 2 days later, she’s barely talking to…).
Ok, another lie. I went b/c I had this inkling that maybe i would get laid. it’s been awhile and since things had been somewhat stressful in my life i thought a good fuck would be my cure.
turns out it didn’t happen. indeed the only thing i got from my lil va-cay (if u can even call it that) was fat.
so now, here i am, trying to play catch up with my life as it seems to all zoom by me. did i mention i’m getting fat as well? and that i still have yet to be laid?
wanna know a secret only my good friends know?
i keep various timers on my phone so i can keep track of just how sad my love and sex life can be:
one’s for the last time i saw the man I lurve.
one’s for the last time i was laid well.
one’s for the last time i was fucked, period.
and one’s for how long it’s been since i worked out.
this wasn’t always the case.
there were times when i was juggling three men at one time. times when i had my choice of who i wanted to be with. times i didn’t need timers or couldn’t be troubled to constantly change them. times when my friends who live in different towns would need updated directories of the various people (i.e., men) and places (i.e., where i saw, drank with or screwed the aforementioned men) in my life.
now, instead, they hear about how Ron Paul is the only Republican i would vote for (not that I’m ever really apt to vote for any member of the GOP), why Hemmingway is growing on me and is not just the misogynistic twit i thought him to be and when the last time i blogged at the downtown starbucks was.
all of this said, i’m not so upset with my recent changes – crazy, hecticness and all.
my friends hear all this new fodder from me b/c i now have time to devote to it instead of devoting my time to juggling men and dumping men and meeting new men to replace those men.
maybe i’m somewhat scarily single right now. and maybe thatโ€™s ok.
maybe something magical about sex (something that i had come to forget) is that sometimes it is best with someone whom you can discuss existentialism with (or whatever other semi-intellectual banter u desire). so thank you, yes you, for reminding me.
perhaps i can delete those countdowns. tho i really do need to know when i exercised last! b/c philosophy or no philosophy if i don’t work off that Too Jays Reuben i ate in O-town ain’t no way i will be giving my O-face to anyone anytime soon! ๐Ÿ˜‰


Entry filed under: being single, columns, fodder, opinion piece, relationships, sex.

man crush defined your week in sex

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Marshmallow Man  |  June 11, 2007 at 1:28 pm

    I can’t believe you wouldn’t vote for Ron Paul. Almost made me teary.

  • 2. Emily  |  June 11, 2007 at 2:46 pm

    You used lurve!! I feel very satisfied at my influence on your diction…lol…and by the way you know that Rueben was worth the fat!

  • 3. gatorgrrl  |  June 11, 2007 at 6:13 pm

    Marshmallow – i said i am inclined to vote for ron paul, but as a person who has, historically, voted for democratics it would be shocking for me to do so. but, i will consider anyone who has ideas about our country that i agree with. we still have a long way to go tho…
    that said, this whole article is about changes. if i can stomach voting for a republican and contemplate being celibate, there are a great many possibilities for us all! ๐Ÿ™‚


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